Living with a boy II: The day my husband read my journal

There you have it. All my secrets are out. I mean its bad enough he checks in on the .com every now and again, and there is plenty of incriminating evidence here if you look for it…but my journal?

That felt like a MAJOR invasion of my privacy. OK I will back up. It goes a little something like this-

IT was a COLD dark winter night. I work until 6:00pm daily, so by the time the last agent logs off the phones, I shut down my work stuff, rummage through my [purse/coat/pockets/cube] looking for my badge, punch out and get home, it feels much later than it is.

Ringing the door bell- I had gloves on and didn’t want to fiddle with the key.

Adam opens the door- GIANT smile and a hug.

 Then, the following conversations takes place:

 

And that made sense to me.

I mean it’s a journal.

I felt like Bridget Jones in the scene where Mark reads her diary & then takes off.

It’s a diary, everyone knows diaries are full of crap.

And they are.

Don’t judge me, but when I write in my journal at night about how horrible my day was or how mean so and so was or how I felt so sad, it’s me venting. It’s the raw emotion without any repercussions. I can rant and yell and scream through my pen. It is cathartic in nature.

And also why my diary cannot be trusted solely.

I have a few friends that I like to tease- I am the one with a journal so it’s going down my way in history. And really it is.

So it wasn’t so much that I had anything to hide. I just hadn’t thought about sharing all that. IT was a good thing it was JUST my journal starting January 2010, so he was there for most of those events. He understands the circumstances and he knew me at that time.

I would have {DIED} if it was my journal from a few years ago when I had another love interest, differ circumstances and was quite frankly a different person. That would have felt like a betrayal of sorts.

So Here I am.

All my secrets revealed.

Wondering where are the boundaries once you are married…or are there any?

More importantly, does it even matter? I have promised to be honest and love this person for eternity. I would have shared all those thought with him anyways…eventually, in time.

And I guess, for me, RIGHT NOW... it doesn’t.

This isn’t a fight I’m willing to pick, I'm not judging just for me it wasn't worth it. It is more funny than anything.

Adam has since promised to read any [journals/mail/post cards/text messages] without asking first. And he let me be a princess for a day to make up for it.

All in all a good trade... I would say so. Thoughts?

 ♥ the MRS.

• Have you ever read someone’s journal secretly, what was THAT like?
• Or have you ever felt like your privacy was violated by a snooper?
• Read a post by a wife  who was not so happy, and honestly, i don't blame her. She made me laugh, because I reacted that way in my head!
• Also are those fonts too hard to read? I'm experimenting, let me know.....-

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[List] -noun

a series of names or other items written or printed together in a meaningful grouping or sequence so as to constitute a record: a list of members.

Since this is such a dead time in the blog world- I GUESS people have like families and vacations to go on or something….I decided to give you a little of my best. The best I have had to offer here throughout the life of this ever evolving/name changing blog.

So take a moment or not and do a little clicking!

Most Commented on posts: 

1. Its a place to live not a matter of national security: A total Craigslist blunder I got into while trying to find a place to live before I promptly decided to move to Ethiopia.

2. Post Secret #17- When I submitted my own post secret & it was published on post secret.


3. I love you more than [                                                  ]- a silly website I found to entertain me at work. Apparently it entertained some of my readers as well.

4. Portofino anyone? a post on a dream vacation I thought up while at work one day. I still want to go. Who is with me?

5. Dear Neighbor boy- an open letter to a boy I used to live by. We had a mini tryst. It was a fun flirtation. He like to run into me at the oddest of times.

Most Viewed posts: 

1. My Interracial Marriage- Why my husband and I have different last names: an explanation of the Ethiopian naming tradition and how we are trying to merge two cultures here in the US. 

2. Seeing THEboy again- Getting back to see my love in Ethiopia after I spent some time in the US during Ethiopian Federal Elections.

3. My Interracial Marriage- because people ask me all the time: Who I decided or didn't think about marrying a foreigner. Or I guess I was the foreigner in his country. 

4. Don't Cry you are just parking a car- the time I {ALMOST} cried while trying to park a 4Runner in an underground parking lot in Addis. Yeah you do that and get back to me.


5. REWIND- Our first Date: Adam & I eating tibs in the back of a car on our first kind of official date. And the picture I magically wrangled because my mom and auntie diane wanted to see the boy I was talking so much about.

My Favorites: 

•  In Pursuit of Honesty- my raw feelings about living in Ethiopia. I closed comments on it in an attempt to write more openly. I however forgot that people could comment on facebook where this thread blew up. 

• {US}- a love letter to my husband

• Sometimes you just need a good cry- A really, really, really bad day at work lead to a mini rant and a tribute to my grandmother. 

• Just a NORMAL Wed AKA: "The day i DIDn't go missing (or get kidnapped, murdered or to be found later dead in a ditch/my shower)" I have a dear friend who has a vivid imagination. I didn't have my phone of for like I don't know...a few hours and she about called the FBI.  

• The EX request- because we have all been in that SUPER awkward situation where social networking gets us back in touch with people we would rather not be back in touch with. For me, and Ex.  

• Being Mormon in Ethiopia part III- My Mormon in Ethiopia posts are some of my favorite. I have a few others I need to polish and post. They have connected me with more people, given me more opportunity & helped people get connected with [rides/volunteer opportunities/missionaries] they even helped one family have the courage to think about relocating- which they did. 

Just a few unpublished beauties from this year:

Come on 2011, let's see what you've got in store for us!

♥ the MRS.

Have a post you are proud of? Your most viewed of all time, share it here:

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Things little people think

Aves:  Nina why does Adam have brown skin?

Me: he lives in a place where everyone has brown skin.

Aves: I have peach skin. I think you have peach skin too.

Me: I do have peach skin. Who else has brown skin?

Aves: Princess and the frog.

Me: YEP and Jasmine.

Aves: no jasmine doesn’t have brown skin.

Me: what color is jasmine’s skin?

Aves: I dunno.

Me: I have curly hair and Adam has curly hair.

Me: My hair is dark and Adam’s hairs is dark.

Aves: that’s because your in love

Gets up to leave

Aves: and you guys kiss all the time.

♥ the MRS.


She got a barbie makeup kit for Christmas. Her first attempts were TERRIBLE...but now she is getting pretty good at eye makeup- IF you like pink & purple 

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MERRY CHRISTMAS!

From our home to yours!

♥ the MRS. & the MR.

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My Interracial Marriage: Creating Traditions

What will be our holiday traditions?

I don’t know.

Part of me knows I don’t need to know NOW…but I feel a lot of pressure. The holiday season here in the states is pretty much where 98% of my family traditions come from. The weeks between Thanksgivings and Christmas are JAM packed with [meals/treat/parties/planning/wrapping/shopping] and all other things “Festive”.

I LOVE the holiday season.

My Husband, could care less.

& it TOTALLY makes me sad.

I know it’s not his fault or Even a FAULT that he could care less about Christmas. In Ethiopia they celebrate with a nice meal.

There is No Santa- he doesn’t visit Ethiopia.

There are no Christmas trees.

No lights.

No ornaments.

No hot cocoa and cookies.

No claymation movies that resonate with me as part of the Holiday build up.

It was devastating enough when Adam asked if we could have Thanksgiving Ribs next year….

Now NO GRINCH?*

There are good things about Adam not wanting all the big US Christmas Hoopla-we will focus as a family more on the REAL reason for Christmas. Also it will save us a TON of money over the years...maybe. I am willing to scale down my idea of Christmas; I just want him to scale his up a bit too.

Season Wants: picture with Santa, watch my stupid claymation movies, build a ginger bread house.

In Ethiopia New Year is huge…it happens to fall on our September 11th…that could be a TRICKY one to Celebrate.

So as we about finish THE holiday season, I am left wondering- How do we merge this part of our lives…or DO we.

I did convenience Adam to help me decorate our little house with some snow flakes & he helped my mom put her tree up, We went to see the CRAZY Christmas house,  but I'm not so sure how sold he is on any of these ideas. He likes hot cocoa and laughed through Elf, but he is convinced he is the Grinch* we actually watched the 20 minute original version. Adam loved the theme song. 

Next year would be "his families year" in the rotation, Ethiopia is pretty far so he suggested a weekend in Vegas. I don't hate that idea.

We went to Caitlyn's to make graham cracker ginger bread houses. Adam watched Christmas Vacation while I made a tribute to the Provo Tabernacle. 

I thought he was getting the hang of it all when he opened his presents a few days back. In his defense they had just come from amazon and weren't wrapped yet. 

He didn't see the point in waiting when they were his presents...

which I felt that way too many years ago. 

So I snuck out and found a last minute hail marry gift. I sent it home with Morgan so he [couldn't/wouldn't] find it. 

So who knows what the future holds. How we will meld & what we will give up.

& Maybe we can just agree to wear crowns on Christmas Eve. They do THAT in England.

[Merry/Happy] Christmaskha!

♥ the MRS.

Any FAVORITE holiday traditions you couldn't live with out?

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We just got caught flirting in the work parking lot

And I feel a bit like a high schooler.

Like we were sneaking around holding hands behind the cars in the parking lot and my friends saw us and said: ohhhhhhhh

Because no one knew we were “talking”

At least that’s what we used to call it when you were in the pre bf/gf negotiation stages.  

When really it we weren’t hiding at all.

Almost blatantly flashing how in love we are for the whole empty parking lot to see.

Except I forgot our entire building is made of glass.

Love tends to make you for get such nuances of your work place.

He ran to work with my ugly sweater in tow.

And hugged me.

And we spun a little.

& exchanged a few quick kisses.

He flirted with me a little telling me: you look so sexy in your business clothes.

I may have giggled a little and playfully hit his chest.

I smiled and he ran off.

Knowing we would spend lunch together.

Until I spun around and several of my coworkers were watching from inside.

Then I turned red.

Got a little [shy/embarrassed]

When one said: that was the cutest thing I have ever seen. You are married and you still flirt!

I replied: we still are so giddy and so much in love.

I hope I spend the rest of my life flirting with my husband. 

♥ the MRS.

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Here's a riddle for you:

What’s hot or cold, nice and brown and can be consumed all year round?

No really it can. 

I am going to have a hot cocoa part one of these days. I have the invites all made and ready to send.

I love hot cocoa. Need Evidence? You can look {here} or HERE for proof.

Due to my love of the chocolaty confection my sister suggested that we try the limited edition dryers hot cocoa ice cream.

It’s divine.

almost as good as a FROZEN hot chocolate. 

If you HATE winter or love it. (Caitlyn you should try it)

Or just want to change it up a little, I would suggest this little treat.

Happy winter!

♥ the MRS.

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{US}

Hey Baby,

I was just thinking it was this time last year I never expected to meet you.

Really I didn’t.

For a long time I was feeling stagnant in my life. Trying soooo hard to be happy, which I was {Off and on}. Filling my time with adventures and stories and experiences. I traveled. I flirted. I moved. Looking for something.

Longing for something.

I had found a place where I was content with my life.

I was satisfied with where I was and what had gotten me there.

I had a pit in my stomach. Thinking about my next BIG adventure. Should I leave my [job/friends/family/security/life] and pack my bags into a bunch of plastic containers to move to Ethiopia?

I had been there, yes.

Dreamed of living there, for a summer maybe.

Wanting to serve. To forget myself. To experience life.

I felt a little dead.

Not because my life was so tragic, but I had become less beautiful version of myself. Which happens when your life is selfish, for no other reason than that’s what single life can turn into if you aren’t conscious about it.

So I prayed. Oh I pleaded. So hard. Desperately wanting an answer. A voice would have been nice. Or any of the other traditional response to prayer.

I would have settled for a feeling of peace or calm.

I am not one of those people. I usually get nothing.

Except a thought that says: GO for it, work hard & see what happens.

So I did.

I quit my job.

I moved home to pack.

I minimized my junk

And I enjoyed Christmas with my family.

& I cried. A little to myself at night. When I didn’t have to put on the brave face. When I no longer had to pretend I was totally confident in my decision & I knew what I was doing.

The days dragged. Then flew by. I was reluctant to pack so mom made these GIANT list and hung them in the kitchen.

One was things I needed to buy.

The other things to do.

The third things to pack.

Slowly my family helped me chip away at the list. Appointment by appointment. Item by item, it all got done.

And then I left. On my big trip across the world.

It wasn’t magical by any means.

It was hard. I hated it. It was lonely and trying.

At the same time it was wonderful and fulfilling and meaningful.

Then there was you.

All photos by the Amazing Duston Todd. See the rest of our event {Here}
Dress design: Nancy Barrus @ Avenia Bridal, Provo UT

& now I am so glad there is an {US}

♥ the MRS.

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My interracial marriage: Why my husband and I have different last names

I figured I would explain-because it is super confusing. And people don’t know what to call us.

Exhibit A: 

We went to meet with the Bishop of our congregation the other day. Adam and I were patiently waiting. I know he has a list with our names on it to help him remember who we are- we are new so we didn’t expect him to know us yet.

I bet he looked out our records and thought: I don’t know what to call them…

So he said: Hey you guys! How are you?

And I giggled silently to myself while I smiled.

Let me try to break it down for you. In Ethiopia, there are no last names. NOW before this totally throws you for a loop let me finish. 

Wait until I explain how Ethiopia has 13 months and is  7 years behind. 

And their new year is in September.

Yeah you read that correctly.

now THAT should confuse you.

This is how you are named:

	Your Given Name	Your Fathers given Name	Your Paternal Grandfather’s name
The MR.	Adamseged	Gashaw	Emeru
The MRS.	Celina	Daniel	Merrial
Try your name:

Did you figure out your Ethiopian name? GOBIS!

That’s like “Good job” or "Bravo" or "brave" in Amharic

So when Adam asked me to be his bride, my parent immediately asked: WHAT will your name be? I said, well we are living in Ethiopia so it won’t change. Culturally it would not have made sense to live in Addis Ababa Ethiopia and chance my last name. it would however confuse all the local people and set a panic to all my US friends and family who couldn’t understand why I didn’t get a new married name.

So once we decided that we wanted to make a go for it here in the States, we had some deciding to do. Adam had to pick a family name for us, for our little crew or well me & the potential future children or animals we bring into our home.

EXHIBIT B:

We should have been more specific on our wedding announcements. It think it SUPER confused people that Adam had a different last name than his mother or father for that matter. On the generous wedding gifts we received there were a smattering of names & Wells Fargo about had a fit over trying to cash/deposit them.  But how do you nicely say: Make checks payable to{_______________________________}

You can’t.

So we spent some time discussing it. Thinking about what made sense culturally here and in Ethiopia. Adam really wanted to honor his father who died when he was a young boy and have Gasahw be our family name. Culturally in the US we would just slap Emeru on everything.

Adam didn’t want to lose his grandfathers name so we decided, we would have different last names.

  

I know crazy right? {WHO} does that?

Well we did and here is why. Adam didn’t want to lose his name and his genealogy by dropping his grandfathers name.

We wanted to honor his father the heroic Gashaw who fought in Somalia in the Ethiopian air force and who Adam loves and admires very much. The father who he lost tragically as a young boy and wants to pa y tribute to.

I want my children to be named  as proper Ethiopians. & they will.

So I am Celina Gashaw.

He is Adam Gashaw Emeru

And our future potential children will be named traditionally.

	Your Given Name	Your Fathers given Name	Your Paternal Grandfather’s  name
Baby Girl*	Addis	Adamseged	Gasahw
Baby Girl 2	Yolanda	Adamseged	Gashaw
Baby Boy	Vincent	Adamseged	Gashaw

I will match the childrens- I especially cared about this as I think about traveling back and forth from Ethiopia to the US with little mixed babies who’s names might not have matched mine. That just felt potentially problematic.

Adam will match himself

We will keep the Ethiopian naming tradition alive for our children.

We will preserve a little bit of their heritage

&  spend the rest of our lives trying to explain to people why we have different names.

When really does it even matter?

 

♥ the MRS.

*yeah in our heads our future potential children are already named…..

See the Follow up HERE

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Monday I hate you-

For a million little reasons that make no sense all on their own, but when you combine them all- THIS Monday feels like a giant mess.

Adam left Sunday to help my sister move.

So Saturday we did nothing and relished they day together.

Which means that there are still dishes in the sink & clothes to be washed. Cups with hot cocoa in the family room & a love sac cover that still needs to get put back on.

We seem to not have a grasp on when garbage day is in our new neighborhood.

So yeah, we are the family with trash bags and boxes falling everywhere.

I have two runs in my pantyhose.

I just wanted to look nice at work today, now I want to go home and get back in bed. Plus this weather can’t make up its mind. I love the almost 60 degree day. But not when my offices is still pumping heat like its 34 outside.

I’m jealous that Adam & morgan are going to the jazz game while I will be vacuuming. But I am glad that they bond and are friends. It also means I will miss him again until late.

I hate filing out insurance forms. I shouldn't complain, I am lucky to have insurance. But WHY are the from so confusing? I really think it is simply so that people get to frustrated to fill them out.

Our Christmas cards haven’t arrived yet, and I'm sad. I keep getting cute ones in the mail which I love to see. I just want to be able to see ours.

Sometimes people ask me: When are you guys going to have babies?

Mostly because lets face it

OUR KIDS will be SOOOO freaking cute…

Do not even try to deny that.

My usual response: We paid good money for my IUD, its good for 5 years and we plan to get every penny out of it.

Leave me alone. I know I am OLD(er) then a lot of newlyweds, but 27 is not old. And if you remember correctly I didn’t age last year, so I am REALLY only 26. 

I am sorry if my flippant response {MAKES YOU} uncomfortable. Explaining over and over again the “Gashaw Guide to Family Planning” makes me feel really uncomfortable too.

I am glad because One out of 5 Adoptions were approved today for my friend Alyssa.

Oh and HAPPY BIRTHDAY AVES you are one of my favorite little people in the whole worl-ed. How could she not be with little faces like that? (I will use any chance I can to showcase my wedding photos)

&to my brother Michael- who is 30 but doesn’t act a day over 22.

That little picture just made this Monday feel a little better.

♥ the MRS.

also I need to unsubscribe to wedding blogs. 

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The thing IS

I generally {LIKE} spending time with my family.

&who wouldn't if they make SILLY faces  and pay for dinner?

My mom & morg's* accompanied ADAM & I to my companies Holiday Party. It was Brian Regan, (I'd never seen any of his stuff before this event). so it's not like I had to twist their arms.

We stopped by my new fav SLAB for dinner-who should throw me a free pizza for all the advertising I am giving them. Not that I'm a big deal, but I mean COME on, rocked the party & then headed to Cocoa Bean and Cupcake for a late night treat. My mom is a choc-a-holic so she was in HEAVEN.

Perfect Provo night...maybe!

Followed by the perfect morning...Early morning at Costco with Nu Skin where we played games, won gift cards & did a little Christmas Shopping. 

OH and WE MET SANTA! picture to come when I upload it. 

Thank you Nu Skin... I LOVE working there. For the entertainment. The Christmas bonus. The free product. The canopy.The Costco gift card. The benefits package & EVERYTHING else they have given. honestly, they are a VERY generous employer. 

This weekend we double dated with my rents. Dinner at the porcupine and then around the corner to see this little beauty:

 

If you live in UTAH...for real go see this place. It takes like 10 minutes to see the whole show. You listen to the tunes on your radio & its a lot of fun. The show changes every year & for the most part, gets better.

I kicked TRASH at FAKE monopoly. I usually HATE monopoly for the following reasons: 

1. My brother Michael is the WORLDS biggest cheater, and I hate playing with him. 
2. My family makes WEIRD game aliances where we all gang up on the person who is winning. 
3. Monopoly is the WORLDS most contentious game. 
4. People always fight when we play monompoly.
5. I hate it ....the end.

It wasn't even real Monoploy. It was Salt Lake on the Board.  Which apparently retails for like $5 somewhere. I tried to link it up on Amazon, but its not even there. So good luck finding this bad boy!

Adam & my Dad left to {STG} to help my [sister/brother] in law move to provo. So I spent some time with my mom & morgs. 

I quickly bought up the media stations & institutions of higher learning. The U with an "Anniversary inn" on it paid me a cool GRAND anytime someone landed on it. SLCC was also QUITE the money maker. 

We didn't [fight/cheat/yell/throw the board] and it was fun. 

Other weekend tid bits:

Our church music sunday was [good/terrible]. There was an organ solo that put EVERYONE to sleep.

We planned a {Holidate}!

Then I slept alone in our house, in our bet & I hated it....
Weird how much you can miss someone that a year ago you didn't even know.

♥ the MRS.

*EDIT: My dad was invited as well, but he had meetings for his volunteer responsibilities with our church. 

•  Doesn't my mom look like Sarah Palin?
• & Isn't my hubs a total hunk? 
• Merry Christmas {HERE} is a free Christmas album download, which I am currently LOVING

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