{US}

Hey Baby,

I was just thinking it was this time last year I never expected to meet you.

Really I didn’t.

For a long time I was feeling stagnant in my life. Trying soooo hard to be happy, which I was {Off and on}. Filling my time with adventures and stories and experiences. I traveled. I flirted. I moved. Looking for something.

Longing for something.

I had found a place where I was content with my life.

I was satisfied with where I was and what had gotten me there.

I had a pit in my stomach. Thinking about my next BIG adventure. Should I leave my [job/friends/family/security/life] and pack my bags into a bunch of plastic containers to move to Ethiopia?

I had been there, yes.

Dreamed of living there, for a summer maybe.

Wanting to serve. To forget myself. To experience life.

I felt a little dead.

Not because my life was so tragic, but I had become less beautiful version of myself. Which happens when your life is selfish, for no other reason than that’s what single life can turn into if you aren’t conscious about it.

So I prayed. Oh I pleaded. So hard. Desperately wanting an answer. A voice would have been nice. Or any of the other traditional response to prayer.

I would have settled for a feeling of peace or calm.

I am not one of those people. I usually get nothing.

Except a thought that says: GO for it, work hard & see what happens.

So I did.

I quit my job.

I moved home to pack.

I minimized my junk

And I enjoyed Christmas with my family.

& I cried. A little to myself at night. When I didn’t have to put on the brave face. When I no longer had to pretend I was totally confident in my decision & I knew what I was doing.

The days dragged. Then flew by. I was reluctant to pack so mom made these GIANT list and hung them in the kitchen.

One was things I needed to buy.

The other things to do.

The third things to pack.

Slowly my family helped me chip away at the list. Appointment by appointment. Item by item, it all got done.

And then I left. On my big trip across the world.

It wasn’t magical by any means.

It was hard. I hated it. It was lonely and trying.

At the same time it was wonderful and fulfilling and meaningful.

Then there was you.

All photos by the Amazing Duston Todd. See the rest of our event {Here}
Dress design: Nancy Barrus @ Avenia Bridal, Provo UT

& now I am so glad there is an {US}

♥ the MRS.

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