SOMETIMES you just need a good CRY

YOU know what I mean?

Life is funny. Work has been crazy lately. My DEAR friend Caitlyn left, and it created quite a whirl wind. The hiring, the interviewing, the waiting to hear back about jobs. It just gets really STRESSFUL.

All the AFRICA stuff has been turned a bit upside down. iM still trying to figure out what it all means, and how to rebound.

Its summer and all I want to do is lay by a pool, and YET every time I try= RAIN.

So on Friday, amidst the stress of [Work/phone calls/piling emails/IM's/Notes] I cried a good cry. I have been asked to contribute on this blog. One of the first posts we were asked to write was about the women who influence us.

I decided to write about my grandma. She died. Almost five years ago.

I sat, blocked out the noise and read her bio. I cried good tears for the woman I love. Tears of sadness for the grandma I lost. Selfish tears because I need her advice and counsel now MORE than ever.

She would know just what to say. She would make me feel better. She would know teach me to be a woman in a man's world.

So for her I cried. Shamelessly. In the middle of the day I cried.

Then I whipped my tears-Stood up-Accepted my new job & got to work.

A new plan. A new day. A new start.

♥ Single Girl

Dear Neighbor Boy,

It has been a pleasure running into you these last few times. Perhaps because I was not in workout clothes, or it was not so early in the morning or I wasn’t on my phone. You even looked very nice in your suit upon returning from work. In my head you wore Chaco’s and a north face soft shell to work every day. I was mistaken.

Sorry I did not recognize you at that party. You were in a ball cap, and someone had diverted me to their apartment. By diverted I mean jumped in front of me, grabbed my arm and lead me away. I do appreciate the enthusiastic way you said hello. As did my roommates who are sad you have to date ignored their existence completely.

I has an epiphany. Maybe, just MAYBE I have a weird secret crush on you. As you remind me of my favorite TV character J.D. from Scrubs.

Here is to hoping I run into you again soon,

♥ Single Girl

CONFESSION

SOMEtimes, i eat the cheese out of the middle

and put them back in the bag,

for someone else to eat

♥ Single Girl

Does your life count if you dont take pictures?

Sometimes I wonder. If it doesn't then this weekend was a total waste...

If it does count then it was a pretty great collage of crap [terminator/swimming/bbq/friends/babies/hot tub/cookie night/TAKEN/pizza/gym/church/cook out/old roommies/burgers/brownies/sad stories/coke/sleeping in/swimming/night at the museum/hot dogs/family/rain/fun]

now its back to reality...sometimes I HATE reality

♥ Single Girl

Reason # SEVEN hundred Ninety one that i am GLAD to be single:

A friend of mine was looking around for a card (for a bridal shower) and came across the Hallmark “Troubled Relationship” section (a foreshadowing of things to come). I was on the phone when she found them, and we were both QUITE shocked.

I thought it was funny she was looking for a “Congratulations on your wedding, life will be perfect just like your favorite movie” kind of a card, and RIGHT THERE, smack dab in the middle was life as it truly is.

“I wish I could go back…
“Believe it or not I know I’m not the smartest person in the world…

How sad is the state of our relationships (collectively) that HALLMARK is acknowledging it. That things are bad enough to make Troubled Relationship cards.

In my head greeting cards are usually happy, a celebration of sorts {Birthdays, Graduations, Promotions, because I love you so much}.

Or I guess in sympathy of a loss.

Not “Sorry I am a Tool and all I could think of to make it better was this generic card.”


I know, I know, life is hard. Relationships are hard. People do terrible awful things to the ones they love. I guess just knowing that Hallmark is a. willing to admit to it and b. willing to profit off of it takes things to a new level of sadness.

To the people who buy these cards: STOP. They will not make things better. It is almost insulting that you used the words of others to express your DEEP regret. Sit down with a pen and some stationary and write a letter. Do not be surprised when your beloved rips this letter to shreds, curses your name or burns it. If you have put yourself in a position where you need one of these cards, you have some making up to do. If you are attempting to do some making up, be smarter than to buy one of these cards.


So here is to being single and not needing a troubled relationship card!

Cheers single ones everywhere!

Enjoy your weekend of random make outs, first [dates/kisses/base/hand holding/love making] free meals, butterflies in your stomach, awkward conversations, girls night outs, sappy movies, night time walks, late night Wal-mart runs, post date rants/raves, bonfires, group dates, karaoke, bar hopping fun and all the other amazing thing you do when you are single , fun and flirty!

enjoy it because one day soon you may need of of those LAME cards!

♥ Single Girl

(the) Bridal Shower

So my sister Brooke is getting married! It has been [fun/crazy/stressful] to watch her go through the wedding planning process. Brooke and Tyler currently live in St. George, all her vendors are from the Salt lake area and the outdoor vineyard wedding is going to take place in California.

So to say the least, things are all over the place. So Brooke was going to be up for a mere 48 hours for a dress fitting, invitation stuffing, favor making extravaganza of sorts. So I thought, wow that doesn’t sound busy enough, lets throw in a bridal shower! iM a smart one huh?

So we did! We planned a luncheon after the fitting at Gourmandies in SLC. It was an AMAZING café/bakery. No one wanted to make a choice because everything sounded and looked so yummy. The desserts were to die for. Literally, chocolate death.

It was exciting to see people that we have known our entire lives as well as some new friends.

Brooke’s best friend from Junior high Dawn Silva flew out to be at the fitting and the shower.

The Beal girls made a showing, even baby Emma. Sister Meilsoe was there (a young women leader form years past), Tiffany who we knew as babies and her BEAUTIFUL grown up Daughter Chloe, Shauna Healey and Amber Kohler! Oh yeah and me, Morgs and my mom were there. It was such a fun group. We all got to catch up and chit chat. It seems that there is never enough time to get people together.

Brooke shared details of her upcoming CA wedding, showed off her invites and explained what her gorgeous gown will look like. It made me really excited for their Utah open house.

It was a lot of fun. Brooke picked up some cute stuff (I picked up the check).

If you are looking for a yummy yet affordable lunch/dinner place. CHECK Gourmadndies out. It was a total hit.

Shauna and Amber, Dawn & Morgan, Brooke with her loot
Sister Meilsoe & Brooke, Chloe & Tiffany, Amanda, Emma, Chelsey & Ann Beal
Me with chocolate death

♥ Single Girl

OVER DUE homework

Is it just me or does posting things that are a little, um, belated feel like turning in overdue homework? IT JUST SITS THERE in draft form, eating away at you. NAGGING on you day and night, night and day until you FINALLY just post the dang thing. It’s not nearly as satisfying as "real time blogging" but, it’s good to get it out there. To keep a record and to share.

In honor of overdue homework here are a few that have been bothering me.

1. The 5th of May Is in fact a HOLIDAY worth celebrating with free café rio, apple beer, an 80 degree office, cupcake run and a hot mess. {Thanks Jrose} Caitlyn even got all pretty.

2. Relay for life:
My family participated in the Hurricane Valley Relay for life event! It was a lot of fun. My brother in law lost his mother last year tragically to colon cancer. WE walked in her honor. The event took place on May 8-9th. Our teams set up camp, got comfy and started walking.

Tyler’s family all came out for the event. His dad (mike) and step mom (Sheri) flew out from California with his little brother Paul. His sister Brenna came up from Riverside. His step dad Donnie came in from California and flew in Tyler’s Grandma Fran from Oregon.

Our Team just after opening Ceremony

My entire family (minus Iraqi Soldier brother) were there to support, walk and BBQ. It actually turned out to be a lot of fun, and a healing event. Our teams were 1st & 2nd Place for fundraising! Together we raised just under $11,000. My bother in law Tyler was the first place fundraiser bringing in $5,120.00 on his own. We had lot of friends and family who joined us! I defiantly want to go again next year.

Highlights included [plasma cars/hot dogs @ 2am/freezing to death/the kid who karaoked “gold digger”/apple jacks treats/playing pit/mother’s day bfast]

<--- I got to hang out with the girlies!

To Read about the event in the NEWS click here.

Top: Dad at the Grill for our fundraiser, Katie/Stacia/Morgs goofing off, Ash writting her name

Bottom: ME signing my name. Ash helping Yum Yum make her mark, Michael BURNING the hotdogs.

3. National Eat whatever you want day
Might just be my favorite holiday in the world. Mostly because we had a reason to eat bfast at Kneaders! We have been talking about going for months, and then we finally did. We had a week of holidays planned to spice up May, but some of them sort of FAILED.

4. The Pennyroyal

{Please say Pennyroyal in a British accent} Cafe may be the trendies place in town. It might now be. I am not even close to sure where all the hip zoobies hang these days. It did however make for a delightful lunch. It also instilled in us a desire to attend open mic night. {POETRY} reading anyone? May 27th @10pm

5. CAITLYN's LAST DAY:

So my BESTIE (I hate that term, but feel compelled to use it) CAITLYN left [Her/our job]. It was a SAD Sad DAY!

In her honor we had a little going away party at CPK, one of her all time favorite lunchy.dinnery spots. It was good times.

We shared our funnies experiences.

MINE = the day her and Nick switched pants.

Or maybe it was the night we spent at Squatters “I can’t say no to anything”
Or Maybe it was JUST convention all together.
Or maybe it was the voice she uses when she says: Hi Caitlyn Dorothy M_____
Or maybe it was drinks on the patio
OR maybe it was [_______________]
*Insert any Caitlyn story here*

Everyone shared. Everyone Laughed. Everyone ate. Everyone drank? Nope that was just the guest of honor

She will be missed around the office. Good thing she’s my fake half sister and living at home. Or I would be nervous I would have withdrawal symptoms.

So there it is, my most recent musings in a nut shell. It was good to sit down and hash this out. To see that despite recent events, my life is in fact full. I am in fact happy. I have people I love and care about. I am engaged in good causes. I am content with my life where it is at this EXACT moment.

♥ Single Girl

(Maybe) Being Single SUCKS more than I thought?

I’ve been feeling pretty freaking good about my life lately. I have a job (when most people are unemployed), I have benefits, I bonus, my boss is amazing, I have GREAT friends who do stupid stuff with me (like sea monkey day), I’ve been healthy, I love my family, I have good roommates, iM planning some GREAT trips and vacations. I mean what more could you ask for?


THEN I realized that maybe, just maybe my life is a little more bleak (Queue Nanny Diaries Rant) than I thought. I spent a day explaining to old friends why iM STILL single, and trying to justify my life.

It wasn’t something I planed, it just sort of happened:

My YOUNGER sister is getting married in about a month. iM genuinely excited for her, and not shocked. She has been dating her fiancé for about 8 years. He is pretty much part of the family and we are all really excited for them.

We had a mini bridal show luncheon this week. She was in town for a fitting and we invited a bunch of people we have known through our childhoods. Since she is getting married in CA these people will not be attending the wedding, and we thought it would be fun to have some girl time.

EVERY SINGLE PERSON asked sooo…"what are you up to?"
"How’s your love life"

{FLASH BACK’s From Bridget Jone’s Diary playing in my head}

Ok so a VERY normal question. But all you singletons know that when THAT question is asked its with this little tilted head, and a mild smile that translates into: you are alone, what could you possibly be doing that adds any value to the world?

And you WANT TO SCREAM!
sO maybe Im not married, but I have a great job, I finished my education, I work my ass off.

I spend hours volunteering at the Soup Kitchen, and raising money to feed starving kids.

Heck I spend hours working on new projects in Ethiopia that will allow us to take care of THREE times the high risk children at half the cost.

I travel, I have experiences.

I have lived more life in 26 year than most people.

Oh and I successfully avoided married at least 3 total pricks who would have ruined my life and turned me into a cynical man hating beast.

So just because I want to avoid being part of the 50% of people who get divorced, and iM taking my time finding my way into love DOESN’T mean iM any less valuable than the bimbo with a rock (this is not a reference to my sister. She is not a bimbo, or a girl who got married because she was too afraid to face the real world).

Instead of yelling you [smile/chat/explaine/share/laugh/giggle] about your "fun little single Life".

Is there something about JUSTIFYING your life that makes it feel so belittled? Almost as if the more you try to explain why you are valuable or important, the less it sounds that way.

The less it sounds that way, the more you start to wonder: WOW have been waisting away my life?

Then I read this article outlining in detail why being single is just a little crappier than you EVER thought it was. Seriously it made me want to cry in my cube.



♥ Single Girl

iN OTHER news

My car is fixed.
Vinny is all better.
Almost perfect, back to normal.
I am sad however to lose a reason for awkward [run ins/talks] with the boss that hit me.

That was a LOT of money to see spent on a car. I mean ITS A FREAKING CAR, can it REALLY cost that much to fix? Apparently.

Moral of the story, park FAR away from bad drivers.


♥ Single Girl

silence

Its been a little quiet around here,
lately.

Perhaps because things in my real life have been so weird.
maybe because I feel so far behind I don't know where to start.
and I haven't checked a thing off my to due list.
or I can't find the words.


perhaps.

♥ Single Girl

♥ Single Girl

WHEN I can't sleep

and its too late to take an ambien i think about:

• what is that building next to my apartment and why does it make noise until the middle of the night
• i should take my earrings out they are poking me.
• my skin feels dry, maybe I need lotion.
• i wonder if i left my runners down south
• if you keep yawning like a million times in a row would you run out of air and die
• i cant forget to ship my returns tomorrow
• where is my phone charger?
• i wonder if that chain letter really cursed me?
• will i like Asia?
• where is my ID badge...where did I put that little guy
• are there really dead bodies in the bottomless pit?
• maybe we should get 4 weeks paid time off like England. I could use an extra 2 weeks.
• i've got a lovely bunch of coconuts..diddley dee
• i need to stop biting my nails.
• I should lay out and get tan before brooke's wedding.
• I wonder if I can get away with wearing jeans tomorrow...probably shouldn't push it. Plus I think I have a skirt still in my bag from this weekend.
• Did i leave my face was in STG?
• how many times can you get sick in one year, I wonder if there is a record.
• I should see if I can set a Guinness world record.
• Rob & Big did it, I bet i could too. I wonder how much it costs to have a judge come out.
• I wonder if people know I silence them on my cel phone. Probably.
• i wish I had Tivo, i would be catching up right now.
• I wonder who won celebrity apprentice?
• I bet joan did bc she has a bigger name. But I think Annie should win. Even though I don't particularly care for her.
• I'm over the rivers.
• I want to float the Provo river this summer.
• Oh that watermelon was good, I love summer fruit.
• I should start a garden, but I don't know how. Maybe I should learn how to garden.
• Or finish learning all the things I started learning.
• I need to sew all those purses...
• my job is REALLY getting in the way of my life.
• hee hee, that is funny.

♥ Single Girl

"It's NOT bottomless...

you know there are hundred of dead bodies down there"

Was the best quote of the night, courtesy of the county Sheriff who caught us. So Ive been hearing about this bottomless pit for over a year. My friends (who had been there) swore up and down that it DID in fact exist, that it WAS in fact AMAZING, and that I need to go before I died (or turned 27, whatever happens first). So we finally made a real plan.

Lindsey (accompanied by John, Ross, Sandi and Sarah) made their way up from the STG = Saint George.

So we got some stuff to throw down: a tire, traffic cone, snow globe and some other junk. The boys brought with them baby dolls, old camping mattresses, sobe bottles, gas and rubbing alcohol.

I know what little pyros'. We met up in Santaquin and headed out towards Eureka UTAH, who knew there was a eureka utah? Not me that is for dang sure. We got to "the Pit" and trucked our junk up to its side.

It was NOT AT ALL what I thought it would look like. I was told there was a grate over the top of it, but I never expected it to be so wide. so HUGE. I was a bit chicken to walk out on the re bar grate. I mean it bounced when you walked on it and its made in about 6 inch squares. So enough that a leg could go through, but not enough that you could fall.

There was some ply wood thrown out to make a little walk way to the center. The middle has a whole cut out that you can throw things down. Its really quite interesting. So I walked out to the center, got freaked out and then watched the guys throw some stuff down. They light a Sobe bomb and threw it down, then a GIANT rock. Its weird because you hear it hit the side then you hear it keep going, but you NEVER hear it hit the bottom. Its CREEPY.

So I walked out, slowly, very slowly to the middle. I wound up my snow globe and then I dropped it. We could hear it playing until it got quieter and quieter and the music got faint, and then you just couldn't hear it any more.

We threw some other stuff down and then the county sheriffs pulled up. I am sure they see people out here all the time. The guy jumped on the grate and started jumping on it.

Sheriff: Feels pretty sturdy

Guys: yeah its pretty strong.

Sheriff: what are you guys doing out here?

Guys: just you know throwing stuff down the bottomless pit.

Sheriff: come on, its not bottomless. you know here are hundreds of dead bodies down there.

we all laughed

Sheriff: so what have you thrown so far

guys: a snow globe, some sobe bottles.

Sheriff: is that gas?

His little helped was looking through all our stuff

guys: yeah but we haven't used it yet.

Sheriff: what smells like alcohol?

Guys: oh we soaked this in rubbing alcohol to light it.

Sheriff: well you're already trespassing, littering, you might as well add environmentally unsound practices.

FREAKING GREAT! Three violations..this is going to cost me

Guys: ummm

Sheriff: you might as well light it

So they did and the sheriffs watched it float away until you couldn't see it any more.

They seemed pretty impressed at how far it drops. They let us know that it was Private property, recently bought by some Canadians (John said "Lindsey is Canadian does that count?" the sheriff laughed), and we were to leave immediately. So we packed up and headed to the cars, where the promptly called in our plates and looked through our windows for anything out of the ordinary.

They let us leave with so much as a ticket, though it had Morgan freaked out. And we called it a night-ish.

TOTALLY worth it.

Next time we will go a little later

♥ Single Girl

TOP: The opening to throw stuff through, the GIANT pit, Morgs looking down the middle.

Middle: first try, Second Try, Morgs with her...traffic cone

Bottom: Lindsy, John and Ross lighting a baby doll on fire, Watching it fall down, the county Sheriffs watching a lit box fall down

national day of PRAYER

I find solace in the fact that all over the country today silent prayers are finding their way to heaven. That amidst the [traffic/noise/rush/haze] of everyday life people are pleading with God.

for faith
for encouragement, acknowledgement or hope
desperately needed guidance or assurance
safety, healing, help
employment, the rent, food for their children

just hoping someone is listening

Today i pray for:
Safety for Brother who serves in Iraq
Hope that children can maintain their innocence in this world
{to find my wallet, keys, ID badge}
comfort
peace

Strength

increased faith
for an inkling of knowledge regarding

the next step in my life
a new job
a new friend

I find comfort in these prayers, issued by someone I will never know.

a prayer for single people.
whoever you are, you understands the beauty and loneliness of this stage of life.

a prayer for the Military.
I thank the people who pray for our soldiers- regardless of your view of the [war/government/policies].


Today I pray
more fervently

♥ Single Girl

CONFESSION:

I NEED new friends,
but I forgot how to make them.



♥ Single Girl

A 16 Year old BOY Saved my life

<---------Meet Isaac. He may seem like a normal GOOFY 16 year old boy (and he is for the most part) BUT one time, he saved my life.

As previously stated, I chauffeured a high school prom. I made a little extra cash ($.50) for staying at my parents house until all the kids were home. They were down stairs [playing pool/foosball/watching moves/eating snacks] while I was watching some creep show called SNAPPED. for real that show creeped me out.

I saw something swooping around the family room. My parents house has these HUGE windows, so I thought: Maybe it was just a reflection. We see birds and all sorts of deer and elk. So I turned the TV off to get a better view. SURE EnOUGH something was swooping around the family room.

I screamed, a little and covered my head with a blanket: I didn't want to get hit in the head. It only took a minute to see/hear that it was a bat. AND IT WAS HIDING IN THE LOG IN THE MIDDLE OF THE WINDOWS.

IMMEDIATELY I had flash backs to this episode of the office. I mean it didn't make sense for a vampire bat to come back to UTAH, it would have for sure gone to Pennsylvania, right? And vampires in real life aren't nearly as cool as Twilight, or The Count. SOooo I called on a little boy to fix it.

Isaac was not afraid of the bat at all. He got our dogs pillow and started throwing it at the crack where the bat was. It didn't budge or make a sound.

Next he got a broom, and jammed the bristles into the crack. We heard hissing and some weird creepy ticking. But still no movement.

He asked for bug spray. We has wasp foam, that's the same right? He stepped on to the front porch, he needed to check the spray distance.

Once it was deemed "acceptable", he went in. Armed with only a broom and wasp spray.

He stood on a rickety stool, SPRAYED the heck out of the crack. The bat FREAKED out, It was hissing and ticking, and YET IT STOOD ITS GROUND. It burrowed FARTHER into the crack.

So Isaac SPRAYED again and JAMMED the bristles of the broom back into the crack. The bat WENT FLYING {i SCREAMED for real and locked myself and katie in the bathroom} straight at Isaac. HE HIT THE BAT down with the broom.

It was stunned.shocked.still

We threw a dish cloth on it. My mom came out of her room MAD we were screaming, NOT at the fact there was a disease infested vampire bat careening around the house.

We covered it with the bucket that once held sparkling cider. And left it there for my Dad to take care of in the morning. I mean LOOK how freaky this thing is:

It STILL creeps me out. So to Isaac, the white knight armed with a broom: I thank you. Thank you for saving my life.

♥ Single Girl

Per your REQUEST

The only picture I have of Dareth. It is sad because you cannot fully appreciate her outfit, but here is a snap shot someone took through the window.

oh look my mom took it, you can see her reflection, and a giant log.

♥ Single Girl

BREAKING NEWS

I've been replaced:

The new me went to Wicked...Damn it "new me" I HATE YOU.

♥ Single Girl

IN case you were WONDERING

Neighbor boy, 7:30am on a SATURDAY is FAR to early to pop your head out of your apartment and say hello.

It does not matter if [I was on my way home from the gym/had already run errands/was throwing stuff in the dumpster] I would prefer not to talk to people I know before 9AM (at the EARLIEST) on the weekends.

I hope this helps you make more fruitful attempts at small talk.

♥ Single Girl

ON the side I moonlight as a LIMO DRIVER

So there was this ONCE, (<--Does once look weird to anyone else?)when my little sister got asked to PROM! Her little group decided to do a little low key prom night since they are all sophomores. So they planned BLOWING, Dinner @ Wingers and then PROM!

The only challenge was that they all had their drivers licenses, but none of them could drive each other. There is a six month rule out here. SO I offered to chauffeur thinking: THEY have got to come up with better plans then that!

Alas they did not. So I decorated the Expedition, conned my friend (thanks Dareth) into coming along and started my career as a chauffeur. We had [sparkling cider/a cheese & cracker tray/fresh fruit and dip]. It was good times. We even sent over dessert and crowns for the ladies while at dinner. It was good times.

Dareth was great! She even wore a suit & hat. It was hillarious, and a pretty fun night. PLUS my mom still owes us a nice dinner for doing it, so I think it will pay off. IT could have ONLY been better if we got a tip!

Maybe Next time,
OH to be young and in love
♥ Single Girl

today at work

60 people ate 100 polish hot dogs

How did that work out?



vom

♥ Single Girl

When iM BORED, I make bad DECISIONS

Like Replying to THIS insane ad from Craigslist.

I am a gay guy who needs to get married asap.. I will pay for this favor...You have to be a girl between 19 and 28 years old, adventurouse, trust - worthy. preferably have no kids...This is not SCAM! I am a real person with real cash to reward the one for this favor..We dont have to live together I just need a paper that I am married.. that's it, no intimacy involved of course... Serious responses only please...

♥ Single Girl